I used to love going to amusement parks, and even the county fair. I loved the rides, even the ones that spun me into endless circles leaving me dizzy from my head to my toes. The teacup rides where I felt like I was in the proverbial spin cycle, the wheel in the center enabling me to make it spin faster and faster. The roller coaster that seems to grow ever so much higher with each new version. Sitting near the front so I could see the drop as it reached the top plummeting me forward. Propelling me upside down again and again, and then changing directions spinning me until I didn't know what way was up and what way was down.
Some years are just like that...and then somehow it slows down letting you catch your breathe for just a few moments. The past two years have been like that, allowing me to do a little breathing and catching up perhaps. Being married and then finding myself single after 31 years has indeed left me feeling like I have been in the spin cycle for quite a while. I don't think there is anyone that hopes to find themselves in this situation, at least I didn't.
I have spent the last two years trying to find myself again, maybe even for the first time. Through lots of soul searching, and looking inside and outside of myself, talking to different people, trying to see a perspective that may not have been my own at one time, diet, exercise, nutrition, prayer and lots of rest...I think I might finally be able to say I am finding myself again.
There are a few things I have learned....
1. People are really just trying for the most part to do the best that they can. So many times we see others and we have a tendency to look at them through our own lens. The one that we have had the ability to see with our entire life. There is No Way that we can ever understand what life looks like for them. We cannot know even if we were with them, what their view was like. Especially since so many of us don't even have an understanding of how we feel ourselves.
2. Everyone feels alone. There are people that because of some chemical imbalance have no problem with this, but for the most part, everyone feels alone. There is a reason for this though. The very fact that we come down to this earth disconnected from heaven and from our families is because this life is a test of one. You against you. The people in our lives are there to support us on our journey home, not to make sure that we return there. If that were the case it would be a very different scenario.
3. God loves you, and He loves me. I know with all my heart that he loves every soul that has come to this earthly experience and he wants nothing more than to have all of us return to him. This of course is dependent upon our choices and what we do with the agency that we have been given. I also believe that like every loving parent out there, if we don't succeed in something He will give us another chance to do better. This also is dependent upon whether or not we choose to learn from our mistakes and make better choices.
I was watching a movie with my grand daughters the other day...Boss Baby. The last song of the movie really made me stop and think, because it really holds Truth in it's words. It was this....
It got me thinking that truly, what the world needs now more than anything is more love. Love for others, love for other countries, love for the planet, love of all mankind, love for ourselves, and especially love of God.
I no longer have a love of crazy rides, especially ones that turn me over and over and upside down. I like more and more the straight and narrow path. I like knowing what is ahead if possible, and if not, knowing that whatever comes I will be okay. I like being with people that I love and that I know love me. I especially like knowing that God loves me, regardless of my past, and is willing to give me opportunities to grow and become a better person if I choose. Because really it is all about Love.
He Loves you too....more than you can know