Sheep...

We had a mask once, that was sent back from Japan, when my brother was there for a time.  It hung on the wall in our basement as you descended the stairs into the room below.  It hung there for a while and no one thought anything about it.  There came a time when I had begun to not feel well.  As a result I spent much of my time in that room resting and watching television to pass the time.  I remember being so weak and nauseous and not wanting to sleep in my bedroom...just sleep there.  I asked some friends if they would give me a blessing.  One of them , Tom, said absolutely!  Blessings are just floating around.  I was so taken aback by his confidence and understanding.  And they gave me a blessing right then and there.  I did  start to feel better, but not as I should have.

My mother has always been very spiritual.  Always having intuition about  things.  I remember one day, she came downstairs, telling me how concerned she was that I had been sick for so very long.  After a time she was climbing the stairs to leave, and she stopped.  Just stopped, and then continued up the stairs, and I fell asleep.  Not soon after I began to start to feel better, and was able to begin to be myself once again.....and I noticed that mask was gone.

I asked my mom about it, and she told me she threw it in the fireplace.  She said as she was leaving that day, she stopped on the stairs...having an amazingly bad feeling that was coming from that mask.  After I was sleeping she came and removed it and threw it in the fire.  And she watched it burn...the fire lapping it up becoming stronger as it was consumed.   She said as soon as it was gone I began to feel better.

What if she had not been attuned to the energy around her...had not been open to the understanding that there is evil in this world whether we choose to see it or not.    If she had not opened herself to that knowing that we all possess inside of us if we choose to see it.

God does not want us to remain as sheep.  Alway relying on others to show us the way or to tell us what to do or how to think.  He wants us to grow and to become enlightened to the energies that surround us.  The trouble is that mainstream does not want us to think for ourselves.  Society as a whole likes us to think like sheep...so we are easier to lead around...like sheep.  We need to wake up...it is imperative that we wake up and begin to know for ourselves, to think for ourselves.  Wake up and be aware so that we can feed his sheep, and help them to see also.

The world is an amazingly beautiful place...let's wake up and see all that there is to see.  Then let's encourage the beauty to grow and to thrive...choking out the weeds that surround us.  I don't want to see like a sheep any longer....do you?

Hold me close, and don't let go

I have always loved being hugged.  When my father would give me big huge bear hugs at night before going to bed...I loved them.  Having him close and feeling him squeeze me until I could barely breath.  Then relief at being able to take in air again, yet wishing that he would keep squeezing me tight.  

There is something about the closeness of a hug that I think we all long for.  Being that close to another human.  Feeling their warmth and love.  And then we grow older and the hugs turn into more of a token, quick, well if I must touch you sort of gesture.  The quick half hearted squeeze that we give someone as they or we are going to be away for a long time.  Letting them know that yes, you will be missed.

As I got older I learned to really appreciate a sincere hug.  Giving another a genuine hug, arms wrapped around another letting them know that they were missed or loved.  Or perhaps to let another know that we feel their pain and that we feel just a little bit what they must be going through.  Or perhaps that we don't know their pain, but want to let them know that we still care, in any way that we can. 

There have been times in my life when faced with difficulties, that I have ached inside for someone, anyone, to see my pain and to give me a long knowing hug.  And times when I have been so happy and excited that I would have loved to throw my arms around another's neck and share my joy with them.

My son, who is almost 13, is wonderful at giving hugs.  I love when he comes up to me, and for no reason gives me a long loving hug.  Sometimes more often than not, also including the words, I love you...you are an amazing mom.  I know he will make a wonderful partner some day to a lucky someone, but for now I will take every hug that he is willing to share with me.  He will soon tower over me, and will have to lean down to my level.  I hope he never forgets to lean down, and really appreciate what a true hug is.

In HIS Arms

Hold me close and don't let go

invite me in to you

wrap your arms around me

envelope me, surround me with your love

holding me close breathing me in

strong, supportive, masculine

everything I have been longing for

you hold me and I relax into you

fully, completely, letting go of the world around me

melting into you like a flower floating on a stream

fully and completely supported

not needing to be anything but what I am

I feel you, taking me in, breathing me in

my energy becoming a part of you

you lift me up, out of myself

thoughts and ideas fleeing from my head

being,  just being

as I soften into you

I feel you...pulling me close

letting me know that you will not let me fall

you are strong, immovable, my strength

Make A List

searching for the pieces of me

longing to find 

the missing parts

that one day would fill

the empty spaces

within my soul 

places that I could never fill

there is a yearning

of what I could never say

never being able 

to put a voice to what was inside

feeling, aching, longing for more

never really understanding

that what was

is not what ultimately could be

never running from

always  moving towards

not to be free of what is

but to embrace what could be

make a list,,,,tell me what you want

what things in your life

do you want to take with you

things have never really been

all that important to me

looking at the things in my life

what would I keep if I had to choose

the feeling of swaying in the moonlight

wrapped in a warm embrace

being led into ecstasy

as we become one dancing together 

the memories of seeing

what once was but two cells

now entering into the world

miraculously  formed into love perfected

the memory of helping another

that could not help themselves

seeing the light in their eyes

as they come to realize

that I am not here for gain

but only to give

expecting nothing in return

seeing the beauty in the world

it abounds all around me

majestic trees that sway in the breeze

sweet sounds of birds that sing to me

as they rest in her branches

the soft and gentle sounds

of the brook as it makes it's way

over the rocks and pebbles

hearing the rustling of the grass

as it dances on the wind

grass up to my waist

reaching up to my fingers

caressing them from the soil below

connecting me to the world

grounding me in her beauty

things cannot go

but feelings, memories

LOVE....that is what I choose

A woman's heart

A woman's heart

is a mysterious thing

full of hope

waiting to love

longing to be let in

hoping beyond hope

it is full of love

and laughter

tears and sadness

tenderness that you can only imagine

wanting to be loved

aching to be held

needing to know...that she is

the light in your eyes

the beat of your heart

the wings that give you flight

that she is the stars in your sky

that when you feel the breeze

it reminds you of her fingers

gentle on your cheek

she needs to know

that you will always be there

when everyone else fails her

you will be there

with tenderness in your eyes

to dry her tears

and hold her, gentle in your arms

she needs to know

that she IS your world

that without her you would be lost

that there is no room in your heart

for anyone but her

and show her, that she is your everything

really show her

and she will be....your everything

more than you could never imagine

let me be your everything