Thinking....

Tonight as I was saying my prayers, looking back on the days, weeks, and months of the past and asking for my kids and grand kids to be watched over and protected I had the sense of being such a small speck in the scheme of things.  My heart aches as I think of each member of my family, how much I would love to be able to protect each one from the pain and heartache that this world can throw our way.  That we do each face each day.  

There are those that would blame God for all the bad in the world, for all the things that we see as wrongs or injustices, but the truth is bad things just happen.  To honest people and to not so honest people.  Each day, almost each second of each day we are faced with choices, and it is by those choices that we are blessed with consequences both good and bad.  

My daughter was making a treat for her family tonight, and my beautiful grand daughter was helping her make the frosting.  She was so excited to be helping and in her excitement leaned down to give the bowl a hug and her hair got stuck in the beaters.  The resulted in her losing a large portion of hair from the side of her head.  This literally makes tears roll down my cheeks as I am typing this, thinking of both my daughter and grand daughter and the fear and sadness as this happened tears at my heart strings.  I am so very grateful that it was not worse than it is.

As I was trying to comfort my daughter over her texts, trying to reassure her that she was not to blame I reminded her of a time in her past.  The day that she did a front flip on the trampoline, something that I had asked her time and time again not to do, over rotating and heading towards the springs...hands going between the springs and her mouth hitting the edge of the trampoline......it is all so clear in my mind and something I will never forget, and I still am not certain that I have forgiven myself.  As bad as it was she still has an amazing smile that lights up my world when I am near her.

It makes me wonder how heaven feels, looking down from above and seeing the world in the state that it is.  How sad must Heavenly Father and Mother be looking down from above.  Knowing how much love I have for each of my children, I can only imagine how much love they feel for all of humanity and how much it must hurt them with what we have done with our world.  How it must pain them to see how we treat our brothers and sisters.

There are those that would try to convince themselves and everyone around them that the choices that we make only effect ourselves.  The truth is that every decision, no matter how small effects us all.  I only pray that the choices I make are in some small way having positive consequences...and might help to bring a little more light into a world full of darkness.

I miss you Daddy...you gave me only light